If this is what you're into, here's a list to help you make sure your kiddos live in your basement forever.
- Talk bad about education around the house.
- Never ever, ever say anything upbeat or positive about anyone who's doing better than you.
- Have the TV on A LOT.
- For God's sake don't have books around the house.
- If you do…DON'T READ 'EM!
- This phrase pays off big! "Homework? Why does that teacher keep sending you all this homework?"
- Always, always defend your child's actions with phrases like "He/she never does that at home", "It must be the teacher's fault", "that little boy/girl from the complex is always trying to get them in trouble" or "Little Johnny/Sally did you REALLY do that?" (said in a tone as if the teacher would be lying on them)
- Use your child's teacher's name like a cuss word.
- Never check your child's book bag.
- Only speak to your child's teachers at the beginning of the year and at the end.
- *Bonus points if you don't tell the teacher that you're going to bring the class 50 cupcakes, ice cream, balloons and goodie bags…for their cousin's bday in Kindergarten.
- Don't reply to notes, emails, texts, phone calls or smoke signals from your child's teacher.
- Whenever you do reply please write very lengthy explanations for why your child couldn't do the week's homework.
- Complain to EVERYONE about every attempt to bring order to the school. (uniforms, attendance, homework, behavior)
- Down play every attempt to get parents excited about what's going on at the school. "It don't take all that."
- "Why does your teacher keep asking for school supplies? Didn't I send some in Kindergarten? Geez!"
- Compare your child to everyone else who's below them at home, but to everyone else above in public. Really comparing them at all is good enough.
- "I send you up to that school to learn" is your bread and butter phrase for every discipline issue.
I could go on and on, but if you have any other ideas please add them.